Second chance or engraved mischance
by curiousdreamer21
Summary: Owen knows he isn't who he thinks he is, Alex knows she isn't the Udinov princess. Both of them are so similar yet so different, will they fight their inner battles alone or can they stand together as one. (Crappy summary I know..and might look kinda like oneshots for the first few chapters)
1. Chapter 1: Pushing Back

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Show Nikita or any of its characters**

_(This is my first story here on fanfiction. Please let me know what you think!)_

**Pushing Back**

There had to be at least one small fragment of the ex-cleaner's past he could find. Something, anything, to give him hope and eventually closure. It was the not knowing that kept him up at night among other reasons, slowly pulling at the recesses of his mind in vain to grasp at straws of what had once been. Getting off the medication had been a lot harder on him mentally than just his physical signs of misery and pain. What most others including Nikita didn't see was how strong his opponent was in this battle against himself. Knowing your enemy meant there was ways to go about strategizing and creating at least a semi solid plan. The only person who seemed to look at him like they knew his pain, truly had experienced it was Alex.

Whenever he caught her looking at him, he knew it wasn't in sympathy or out of shame like Michael and some of the others perceived him. Standing in front of the punching bag, Owen stared straight at it, cold blue eyes set in determination before his curled fist landed a straight blow. As of late all he could think of was _I'm not Owen, I'm someone worse. I know it. _ With that thought reiterating in the silence of the room, his other fist made contact with the firm material sending the punching bag swinging. He liked this, the physical pain. It was something he was physically, mentally and emotionally used to. A constant among variables.

"I hope you're prepared to buy a new one if you wear that one out"came a soft voice from the shadow above the stairs behind the railing. Owen didn't have to look up to know who it was, "isn't any worse for the wear than when you're having you're playtime"shrugging casually he held the punching bag still. "Let me guess Michael sent you down here to keep tabs on me, what he thinks I'm going to go all hulk?"he smirked at Alex who was now walking towards him with a radiant smile. Standing in front of him with her hands on her hips clad in a pair of tight black leggings and a loose grey shirt, the Udinov princess eyed the shirtless ex-cleaner as beads of sweat had formed around his frame.

"Do I look like a babysitter to you?"tilting her head she questioned him. "You know what your problem is," her eyes automatically fixated on his butterfly tattoo "you treat yourself worse than anyone else possibly can." Alex had seen how he had been acting and after spending time in closer proximity with him on a few missions, she was starting to think they weren't so different after all. They both wanted to live their life, be who they truly were yet struggled with who everyone thought they were supposed to be. Amanda was one messed up woman, how she had even managed to erase his memories was beyond her comprehension. Alex wouldn't put anything beyond her now.

Owen stopped what he was doing, pulling off his gloves and carelessly tossing them to the side. "You don't know what my problem is, you don't even know me, nobody does. She made sure of that"he replied bitterly, his eyes not quite reaching her own, instead lingering on every other part of her or anywhere else. If he looked into her eyes, Owen knew that he would see something there that would remind him of Emily. A stranger who had no idea who he really was yet chose to show compassion and concern. He had fallen for her, head over heels in love and there was not a single day that went by when he didn't feel that aching pain of her loss in his life. Her presence, never to be felt and her warmth and comfort now replaced with a sense of abandonment and isolation. Sure he was here at Division, but nobody really cared about him as a person. He was just another weapon.

"You can push all you want, but some people just push back until you're too tired to fight it anymore. Trust me, I learned with Nikita. If it wasn't for her, I'd probably be dead right now. Or...somewhere else" she trailed off not wanting to think about all those other women she could have saved. "I got lucky" her arms in front of her "not saying you will too, but you just need to be patient for that change. Maybe you haven't got your second chance yet." Smiling lightly, Alex ran a hand through her hair thinking about how she was still looking for that second chance. This life she was living now was neither here nor there, always on the fence. But it was for a good cause. "Birkhoff wanted to see you by the way."

Why did she have to say such things, at this point he didn't even have words to reply with. It was just a waste of time and his breath. He had seen a lot of fighters in his time and Alex was definitely one of the strongest fighters he knew. It wasn't just that she was physically a good fighter, it was her inner strength and will power to fight. If only he had at least a little of what she did. He was sure his second chance was botched up and this was it, here. This was his life now.


	2. Chapter 2: Shared Darkness

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Show Nikita or any of its characters**

_(This is my first story here on fanfiction. Please let me know what you think! **REVIEW PRETTY PLEASE**)_

**Shared Darkness**

People were always leaving, not necessarily by choice but more often than not by force. Alexandra Udinov, heir to the Zetrov empire and last of the lineage always thought growing up she would have her papa by her side. The man that taught her the simplest most basic lesson of life, _remember who I was ...remember who you are, _to hold on to what she knew was true. One day it was all supposed to hers, but she never wanted that. Alex only wanted her family, at least a friend. Someone she could talk to as just Alex, person to person without all the chaos and concern that seemed to follow her like a moth to a flame. Flicking the lighter, Alex stared at the brightness emitting from this small little piece of plastic as it light up the dark room. So lost in her thoughts the brunette didn't notice a figure walking towards her.

"I know you're all dark and badass but try not to burn the place down." Owen strode into the interrogation room Alex had decided to hide in. How on earth did he manage to find her here she wondered. With the small tilt of her thumb off the lighter the flame went out. "There, all dark now, happy?" They were in complete darkness now since she had turned off the lights. Both of them were well trained to spot figures in the dark, neither had to strain or squint to spot the other. Effortlessly he found his way to the table she had her legs propped up on and leaned against it. Standing there silently, they just listened to each other's breathing waiting to see who would speak first. "Well? Is there a reason you went on a mission to find me? Must be important." Owen chuckled.

He wasn't exactly told to go find her, but he did overhear Nikita and Michael wonder where Alex had gone to. Just a few days ago he had seen her slip towards this room as he was on his way to the infirmary for stitches. They had briefly stopped and she made a comment about him only adding to his numerous sexy scars already. With a smirk he had shook his head and gone off to get stitched up not wondering much at the time why she was over by the interrogation room. "Maybe it is maybe it isn't. What are you doing sitting in the dark, scared of the light?" The corner of his lips curved faintly as he waited for her witty response.

"There's nowhere to be alone, can't I at least find one on my own. You got a law against that too?" she snapped back. Alex groaned, she didn't sound as angry as she felt. Maybe if it was Nikita or Michael they would have felt the full wrath of her frustration, but what did poor Owen do. Sean had taken off to god knows where and left her with an ultimatum. There was no space for people in her life she was coming to realize and Division only served as a constant reminder every day. On the last mission she was on, Alex was around a lot of couples, groups of friends and people hanging out with others. They were all carefree and relaxed, that would never be her life. She wasn't destined to lead a normal life, Nikolai Udinov had ingrained that into her mind at a young age. If she still hadn't accepted that by now, it would be difficult. She had accepted it, but there was always a part of her that longed for a normal life.

Standing up, Alex pushed the chair away and turned to walk away from him. If she couldn't be alone here, she'd find somewhere else to let her mind haunt her. Before she could take another step forward, a firm grip on her wrist stopped her. Turning her head to the left she looked over her shoulder waiting for him to explain. "You don't have to be alone in the dark. You can stay here, I'll stay too so Nikita doesn't think you're plotting something evil"he teased. "Why?"was her only question, turning completely to face him now. In the dark she could make out his sharp features, a silhouette of a man who was stuck in a shell of darkness. Holding a finger up to her soft lips "shhh, just be quiet and sit here. I'll do the same" he informed her. Owen spent a lot of time in the dark himself, there was a the faintest trace of something close to comfort knowing he wasn't the only one alone in the dark.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE -**

_Thanks for the review 'Khrat9' and 'Iva'._

Iva

Yeah I don't intend on them getting together suddenly, it'll be gradual and natural hopefully. Glad you like it so far Iva, I'll try to write at least once a week.

Khrat9

Thank you hun, glad you like it. More is definitely coming.


	3. Chapter 3: Just a Bite

Disclaimer: I do not own the Show Nikita or any of its characters

_(This is my first story here on fanfiction. Please let me know what you think!__REVIEW PRETTY PLEASE__)_

**Just a Bite**

Over the past few weeks, Alex and Owen had a few shared glances and soft smiles that only the other caught and understood. Nobody else would have been able to notice, not even if they were looking for it and Alex was starting to think Sean was. Heck, Owen knew Sean was just waiting to catch them both in a situation that would be to the navy seal's advantage. He may not have Emily anymore, but the cleaner knew what it was like to love someone and he could see that Sean and Alex loved each other, even if they had strange ways of displaying it. Analyzing and observing their relationship wasn't his job but he often caught himself doing just that. Alex deserved the best, and he truly wanted to see her live her life happily. If that was with Sean then he was on board and would congratulate the two, but the way Sean was always trying to get her to open up about things she wasn't willing to talk about yet made him wonder.

It had been almost a week now since Owen had realized Alex too had a tattoo of a butterfly, he hadn't asked her about it out of respect and if it was something she wanted to share then she would do so. Sean however didn't seem to understand that, the vibes of frustration seemed to roll off the Udinov heir. On a drive to a mission Alex had started talking about a girl she once knew who wanted to fly, it all came down to second chances as well. His own butterfly was for another reason completely but he couldn't help but identify with what she said. Since then, there was sense of unspoken comfort and acceptance between the two. Something Sean had picked up immediately, he truly had no reason to worry but if he couldn't trust Alex then maybe he wasn't the right person for her.

"I can definitely trust you to clean up whatever was left" came the voice he was growing so fond of hearing as of late. His eyes shot over to Alex who sauntered over shaking her head. "What! I was hungry, not my fault you guys barely eat and leave me surrounded by all this food" he pointed out. "Before I left, there were at least three sandwiches here, where'd it all go" she chuckled. Owen had been working out a lot and his body needed more food than usual, getting off the pills meant he actually needed food now. He was slowly starting to appreciate eating again. Unknown to the pair they were both now sporting a warm genuine smile that rarely came across when they were in the presence of others.

"What, you want me to make you a sandwich for your itty bitty appetite, tell me what you want and you got it!" Nobody besides Emily really knew of his talent for cooking, making a sandwich was nothing, it'd only take a few minutes and he really was starting to feel a bit bad about making her go hungry now. "Or I can just take you out and buy you everything you want to eat, Princess." When he asked her to go out to eat, he didn't mean like a date. Just two people, some might even call them friends, going out to eat. There was nothing wrong with that, at least he didn't think there was anything wrong until he saw Alex's facial expression. It went from highly amused and she looked about ready to accept his offer to slowly realizing that it was a bad idea, or something of the sort. Alex's bright smile dimmed and she shook her head catching herself in time before she had said yes. If it weren't for Sean's recent behaviour Alex would have willingly accepted.

"I…it's okay. I'm sure I can find something to eat around here." As she answered him, her eyes drifted down towards the tiled floor. They had suddenly become more interesting. There was a nagging thought in the back of her mind, she shouldn't have to sacrifice her relationship with other people or make changes to it just so Sean's green eyed monster would be kept at bay. If anything he should be able to accept her who she is and let her be free to make the choices she wanted to. They already had disagreements on her still being here, which constantly bothered her yet she put on a smile and tried to ignore it. "You know what; maybe you can actually make me a sandwich." So she had changed her mind after all, if she was going to say yes to food that Owen was offering, why should she let Sean's paranoia get in the way. She was pretty hungry.

That wasn't weird at all, Owen was sure she was going to just close up and move away. With the way Sean was acting he wasn't surprised at all, but there was a small part of him that thought she was better than that. He'd hate to see her change and let her choices and actions be dictated by how concerned the navy seal would be. Just when he was about to nod and tell her he was sorry she quickly changed her mind telling him she wanted to take up his offer. In her beautiful blue eyes he could see a sudden moment of clarity he hadn't seen there in a while. Then again it wasn't like he was always looking into her eyes for as long as he was at the moment. Or maybe he was and just told himself otherwise. "Yeah, I'll get you a sandwich set up, one you'll never forget" he smiled roguishly. "I'll make sure to watch then and learn a thing or two" Alex teased. Neither of them realized just how much their dynamic had changed since the first day they had met. For the better or worse, time would tell.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE-**

Sorry I haven't been able to update in a while, I sent my laptop in for repair and won't be getting it back for 2 weeks. Thanks to everyone who has patiently been waiting. I'll try to have up chapters more often.

As you can see my chapters for this story still seem a bit oneshot-ish, I think it works and I'm slowly trying to create something here. Any suggestions is always welcome, let me know what you think works or doesn't.


	4. Chapter 4: Couldn't Save You

Disclaimer: I do not own the Show Nikita or any of its characters

_(This is my first story here on fanfiction. Please let me know what you think!REVIEW PRETTY PLEASE)_

**Couldn't Save You**

Faint buzzing was all Owen could remember hearing, for what felt like the past few days, or weeks, however long it was that he had been stuck like this. None of them were distinguishable, yet he always found himself trying just a bit harder to let his attentive hearing try and pick up on a voice he was yearning to hear. The last thing he remembered was covering Alex on the mission and telling her to wait as he went in first. What neither of them knew was that there was another man stationed at the rooftop, discreetly hiding and waiting. Good thing he was wearing his Kevlar so the sniper's shot didn't do much more than momentarily distract him. What came right after that was the reason he ended up lying here. Turning around to tell Alex to stay back, since he knew she'd try to see if he was okay was his downfall. That wasn't what Owen normally would have done; it didn't align with his systemic method of executing a mission. The sharp blade that dove into his lower rib and side of his stomach would have been stopped and foreseen had he only been paying more attention.

"He's alright now, so long as the medication is administered on a regular schedule there shouldn't be any problems, we'll have to keep an eye on that wound though." The doctor was talking to someone, every word he said was loud and clear resonating throughout the room in a soft echo. Feeling a thin warm hand covering his own, Owen's eyes fluttered open slowly. Readjusting to the light he groaned, he could still feel the pain in his lower torso but it wasn't that bad. Thankfully they hadn't given him strong painkillers, the last thing he needed was to be on more drugs. Finally opening his eyes and still a bit disoriented, he tried to say her name "Alex", came a strained, hoarse acknowledgement except it wasn't her. Nikita smiled softly at him "she's not here right now Owen. But you're going to be okay, I promise." She wasn't who he was expecting, but what was he thinking. Alex had better things to do than be here right now. Groaning he closed his eyes as images of her flashed through his mind. He could barely question why he was thinking about her so much at this moment, Nikita's voice was a faint buzz in the background. It was because he wanted to make sure she was alright. He had gone down and she dragged him out but he didn't know what happened after that.

Light scuttling sounds brought his attention back to reality, there was more movement around him and Owen's fists both balled up as he thought back to how he failed to protect her, and let down the mission. Because of him someone could have been killed, and to think that it could have been her was like an iron fist clenching his heart. Deep down, he know that there was nothing he was good at besides destroying and ruining all that was good. He wasn't a good person and Owen's mind was constantly ready to prepare for war with himself. Once again he felt a hand over his and this time it was different, not Nikita's. This one was more familiar in the oddest way, not a hand he had held and been used to touching but one he had seen in action and admired more often than he'd like to admit. The hand of a survivor, warrior and broken woman. "Alex?" he repeated her name again but more of a question this time. "Owen" his name was whispered in a slight tremble, upon opening his eyes once more he found the woman who had been consuming his thoughts since he'd woken up standing before him. She looked like she had been through hell and worse, if anything, more beautiful than the last time he had seen her. Just seeing her standing in front of him unharmed brought a genuine smile to his tight lips. His body physically relaxed and Owen thought he felt much better, but maybe it was just because he was awake.

Moving closer to the man lying in bed because he was covering for her, Alex had to stop her watery eyes from brimming, spilling her unshed tears. "I'm so sorry Owen, it was my fault for not checking the perimeter properly, I almost got you killed-" she was cut off when he moved his palm over her hand and squeezed it tightly. Sitting on the bed beside him she wrapped her other hand over his, keeping his between her hands protectively. For the past couple of days she had been so distraught and upset blaming herself, guilt ridden and just cold towards everyone else. "Alex, I'm here, alive and kicking aren't I? There's no point in talking about what already happened, so let's just live for now. Second chances right?" Giving her a devilish grin to lighten the mood, he was glad Nikita had left almost as soon as Alex came inside. It meant they could really just comfortably talk about what happened on the mission but now that he thought about it he really didn't care. They were both alive and there was no point in talking about the past, he didn't even have his own past so it was never something he thought needed to be discussed at length. Alex gave him a strange look he had never seen before, a mix between regret, guilt and something else. Leaning forward she hovered lightly over him before her lips softly pressed against his forehead. Feeling her body this close to his was making him feel different, made him think of things he hadn't thought of before. Before he decipher why his mind was betraying him as of late, Owen felt her soft lips against his skin. The only thought in his mind was, this must be what the kiss of an angel feels like.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE-**

Finally got my laptop back but I've been a bit busy and had a bit of a hard time getting words out of my thoughts, so here's a new chapter.

I know it's a lot later than I would have liked to get one out, sorry. Hopefully the length makes up for it, or something. Enjoy!

Thank you _Iva_, I will definitely remember your suggestion.

_chpll1525_, THANK YOU! It feels great to know that I've converted someone into an Olex shipper of sorts haha. I've always thought the two have such great potential.


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